Rumors circulating about the ward party (for adults) on March 17:

--A tower of scale and majesty will be constructed, only to be toppled by an errant bishopric member on a bicycle

--Liars and impersonators will be exposed through assiduous interrogation techniques in two pulsating rounds of To Tell The Truth

--Falling dominoes will blanket the floor in a kaleidoscope of pattern

--After decades of shameful inaction, the Foothills saints will at long last designate their official root beer

--The hubbub will be captured on video for a forthcoming documentary

--Authorities have already been placed on notice

--Counseling will be available for those having difficulty with the complete lack of decorations

--It will be said with a hush, generations from now, that it was epic and legendary